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People are funny. We learn things as kids and for some silly reason they override logic, common sense and incoming information for the rest of our lives. I will always call the apatosaurus a "brontosaurus" because I like the name, even though I've learned that it's no longer taxonomically correct.
So it's no great shock to me every time I get involved in a show that calls for ground fog, boiling cauldrons or goblets of fuming potions to hear somebody say: "We'll just use dry ice." Yeah, I too was impressed when my grade school science teacher brought a piece to class and pulled all sorts of stunts with it before it disappeared. I have, however, a litany of questions for the director who makes that statement. Q: "What do you mean use dry ice?" A: "Well, dry ice makes fog." Q: "How?" A: "Ummm, you add some water?" Q: "How? Where? When?" A: "Uhhhh..." Q: "Where do you get dry ice around here?" A: "Uhhhh..." Q: "How do you get it here? Where do you keep it after it arrives? How long does it last? How do you handle it? How much do you need to buy? Can you get some more in time for the next show?" A: "Uhhhh..." That's usually when I say: "Dry ice, my ass!" Now, I have no scientific argument against dry ice. A cage of dry ice lowered into a tub of hot water goes bananas and produces fog up the gazoo. Lots of it. You can fog an entire football field with the stuff and many have. My point is: the acquisition, transportation, storage, handling, dispersion and basic logistics involved in the use of dry ice usually result in my renting and plugging in a fogger or hazer. Cue fog on, cue fog off, everybody's happy, done deal. I'm not saying that I never use dry ice. There are occasions when all of the elements I just mentioned come together nicely and make it the ideal solution, such as the production I'm working on right now. You should be familiar with these elements if you're going to be a special effects guru. What is "dry ice?" It's frozen carbon dioxide gas. Unlike water, which is a gas at +212 degrees (F) and a solid at +32 degrees (F), carbon dioxide, at atmospheric pressure, goes from a gas to a solid and back again at -109.3 degrees (F) (-78.5 degrees (C)) in a process called "sublimation." It never "melts" which is why it's called "dry" ice. Where do you get it? Aha! That's a definite stopper to any directorial argument. If there isn't a reliable and constant source within a few miles of your theatre, it's all over: you're not using no stinkin' dry ice. Forget all about it. How do you find a supplier? Go to dryicedirectory.com and click the appropriate link. Type in your telephone area code and you'll get a listing of every supplier in your area. Is one of them close enough? Good for you. How much does it cost? My local supplier gets $2.00 per pound for it... it's very expensive stuff. How do you transport it and store it? Very quickly. You'll need an ice chest, preferably a metal-box Coleman or Thermos, not one of the cheap plastic coolers which won't last long: plastic becomes brittle and shatters at dry ice temperature. What do you put into the chest with the dry ice to make it last longer? Haha! More dry ice! No, you don't put regular ice in with it: we're talking 109.3 degrees below zero here. Anything warmer than that just makes it sublimate faster: regular ice is actually "hot" compared to dry ice. Don't use a sealed container like a thermos bottle: the gas pressure of the sublimating dry ice will cause it to explode. Put the container in the trunk of the car, not the passenger compartment, and keep the trip short. If you're running the heater or air conditioner, make sure it's set to "outside vent" and not "recirculate": carbon dioxide at concentrations of higher than 0.5% will cause you to become drowsy and pass out. Then you'll suffocate and die. Did I mention the head-on collision? Are we having fun yet? How long will it last backstage? 5 to 10 pounds of dry ice in an ice chest will be gone within 24 hours. That's a good indication of how much of it you'll need to start with and how soon before the show to pick it up from the supplier. How do you handle it? Very carefully. Use long tongs, like barbecue tongs, and/or wear insulated gloves or an oven mitt. Never touch dry ice: -109.3 degrees (F) causes immediate frostbite and kills tissue (like skin) instantly. The resulting injury is often referred to as a "burn" and is just as dangerous. To give you an example: dry ice is the second most popular method of branding cattle. (Ask any cowboy or rustler.) How do you make fog and disperse it on stage? Go to dryiceinfo.com for great information on "Special Effects Using Dry Ice." So, what am I using it for in this production? We have a brief, five-minute scene in the wizard's "laboratory" with a steaming cauldron of "something weird" fuming away. The cauldron is free-standing making it impossible to run flex-tubing to it from a fog machine. One of the actors drives right past the dry-ice supplier, fifteen minutes away, and they're open seven days a week: close and reliable. Everything about this scenario made dry ice the best choice. There is one more option: If you have a long-running show (or a haunted house attraction) you might consider making your own dry ice! You'll need four things: 1. A siphon cylinder of Liquid CO2 from your local compressed industrial gas supplier.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Now and then, a show calls for some macabre body parts. Yes, Hamlet needs Yorick's skull for that scene and I'm off next weekend to see a midnight performance of "Sweeney Todd" at CLC's Chalberg Theatre. Legend tells us that the meat from his victims went into Mrs. Lovett's pies while the bones were scattered about in the catacombs of London. The show is certainly enhanced by a few stray arms and legs.
I once dated a surgeon who had a real human skull on her bookshelf, a leftover from medical school where the students had to purchase them from a skeleton supplier in Bangladesh. Creepy, yes, but the poor decedent had no idea that his cranium spent most of its time with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth or as a prop at numerous costume parties. "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am. Allow me to introduce you to my ex-wife, Anne." Then the skull, which we naturally named Yorick, would appear from a shoulder bag and get a good scream. Horribly irreverent, eh what? Med school must be a lot of fun... imagine the practical jokes. In Greece, where I lived for many years, the cemeteries are small and bodies are only allowed to be buried for five years. Then the relatives have to dig them up and transfer the bones (if they're ready) to a box in the ossuary, a small building in each cemetery. Wealthier folks have metal boxes with their names engraved but a poor person is just as likely to end up in something from the supermarket; many an indigent is memorialized as "Corn Flakes." As for the "agnosti," the "unknowns," their skeletons pop up from time to time and are usually dumped in a burlap sack in the corner of the ossuary. Need a skull? Help yourself. (Is this grossing you out? Hey, different cultures, different customs, and real theatre special effects folks love stories like this!) Okay, where do you get this stuff if graverobbing is frowned upon in your neighborhood? You want it to look real but, with a limited budget, not cost an arm and a leg. (Hahaha! Good one, CJ.) Well, take a look at the CreepyFX website where you can get anatomically perfect parts for quite reasonable prices. Need some arms? They're $19.99 each and whole skeletons are only $128.98. They'll be happy to give you a hand or a "leg up" with your show. (I crack myself up!)
Saturday, October 16, 2004 Unused Marionettes (some strings attached)
Just when I thought that every full-length feature concept had been topped by "Sky Captain," along come my favorite guys with "Team America: World Police." No, I'm not talking about Trey Parker and Matt Stone although I like their work (who else would have thought about making a TV series using a box of Colorforms? And "The South Park Movie" gave at least one 14-year-old stranger an excuse to sit next to me and pretend I was his father.)
No, I'm talking about the Chiodo Brothers: Charles, Stephen and Edward, the most famous puppeteers since Jim Henson. I added them to my list of special-effects superstars after seeing their classic "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" back in the '80's. While there hasn't been a "Revenge of the Klowns" (yet, and I hope there is!), the Chiodos have been working hard all along and the marionettes in "Team America" are their latest masterpieces. While all of the puppets get a workout (and worked over) in the movie, the George Bush and John Kerry puppets were shelved as the producers were leery of using candidates during an election year or of appearing biased in any way politically; rather, they chose to offend everyone else equally. So: somewhere, sitting on a shelf, are the two candidate marionettes, still fresh in their boxes yet both more animated (and perhaps smarter) than their live models. I'm sure they'll end up as part of a private collection or in a museum someday so don't watch for them on eBay. Another marionette you won't be seeing is Michael Moore, which is, let's say, "hors de combat" at the end of the movie. Unless he had a stand-in.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Having mentioned her twice in this blog in the past year, we note the passing of actress Janet Leigh. While most remember her as the unfortunate Marion Crane in Hitchcock's "Psycho" (1960) that was not the role that sticks in my memory: in 1958, my father, Don, took me and my friends to see Richard Fleischer's "The Vikings" starring Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh on my birthday. I was 15 years old at the time and Janet's Morgana stayed with me for many years after as the most beautiful movie heroine ever. Then, in 1984, my father won a technical Academy Award presented by Janet Leigh. We'll miss her.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Do you collect souvenir t-shirts from every show you work? Me too! Now you've got drawers and drawers full of t-shirts? Me too! Is your idea of "dress-up" a clean t-shirt? Mine too! When you do laundry, and you end up with all those piles of t-shirts, don't you hate the time it takes to fold them all? Me too!
Last week, Jay Leno noted that when Martha Stewart begins her prison term, she'll begin working at a wage of between 18 and 40 cents an hour. "In other words," said Leno, "she'll be earning the same as all the people currently making the Martha Stewart line of clothing." What Martha doesn't know, yet, is how efficient those Asian sweatshop employees are thanks to the application of such arts as Japanese origami. Thanks to this short but incredible training video, I can now fold thirty t-shirts perfectly in less than one minute. Yes, you read that right: in less than two seconds and in one smooth motion you can have a flawlessly folded t-shirt: talk about washday miracles! What has this got to do with theatrical special effects? Everything! Those wardrobe people will absolutely freak out when you demonstrate this and you'll be acknowledged as the backstage wizard that we know you are.
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