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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics

Now, I'm not saying that movies should be educational nor even that they should represent the world as it really is. That would be silly. When Elliott rides his bicycle through the sky across the face of the moon with E.T. in the basket, that's a great logo for Amblin Entertainment. It's not a documentary. It is assumed that a moviegoer, once he has his bucket of popcorn and a paper cup of something sticky to spill so that I can hear my feet go "click-click" when I come to the theatre next week, will park his brain under the seat with the chewing gum and just watch the screen. Thinking has always been discouraged at the movies. That's their advantage: you are excused from thinking for a couple of hours. To me, that and the popcorn are worth ten bucks.

The problem arises later when people whose primary source of education has been movies (and that's just about everybody, in America at least) is stopped on the street and asked questions about the world and how things work. They respond incorrectly. Some of these people are policymakers and educators. Why does a Schwartzenneger movie carry more weight than a Schwartzenegger technology initiative? Because the first has been observed, the second only imagined.

Should theatre be scientifically correct? Hell, no, but at the very least, the audience should be able to tell the difference between special effects and reality after the show is over. Here's a brilliant website that's not only fun to read but satisfying to fans of NUMB3RS as well.

Hey...Robots!

Microsoft, yesterday, announced their new Robotics Studio. It includes development tools for controlling all sorts of junk that we use to build robotic stuff in the theatre. I'm not talking about metal guys that walk around and pour drinks. I'm talking about stuff that runs autonomously without the constant need of human control. Most complicated live theatre special effects will need robotic programming as there's just too much to go wrong otherwise. Machines don't miss cues. People miss cues. Read more about it here.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Try this at home...then run like hell!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

What the hell? Fluorescent guns?

Leslie Yeransian reports for ABC News:
"In 1999, the New York City Council passed a law requiring that toy guns be painted fluorescent to make them easily identifiable as toys. But now that real guns are colored with the same fluorescent paint, they look like toys."
"As part of a larger piece of gun legislation, [Mayor Michael] Bloomberg wants to ban the selling of gun coloration or paint kits to anyone in New York City's five boroughs."
"Hugh Lauer is the owner of Lauer Custom Weaponry in Chippewa Falls, Wis. and the inventor of Duracoat, a popular gun coloration chemical that has taken heat from Bloomberg. Lauer invented Duracoat more than a decade ago. He said he can't keep up with the abundance of phone and Internet orders for the product.
"Our customers are all avid hunters, law enforcement, not gang bangers," said Lauer. "We're not getting orders from New York City. Our sales records only show two orders placed from there, and same thing with Los Angeles. We're only getting orders from movie makers.""

Cops, hunters and movie makers are painting their guns fluorescent? What the hell is he talking about? To continue: "Lauer said he sells the gun paint mainly to law enforcement and the military, who either want to camouflage their guns or make them more visible in low-light situations. Lauer said he "rounds out" his sales by selling to the general public. "Women shooters like to accessorize. They like their gun to match their earrings," he said."

Hahahahaha! And here I was upset because I had to remove the orange tips from all my stage gun replicas. Now I need to remove fluorescent paint from all my real guns! I'm so confused. Can we just make a deal and leave all guns "gun-color?" Stop painting them! Cops will shoot you if you point anything at them: a stick, a book, a bottle of Coca-Cola. Cops will shoot you if you reach for your billfold or scratch your nuts. If you're holding anything in your hands and if your hands are not in the air when a cop points a gun at you, you will be shot. What part of "Bang! You're dead!" seems to be unclear to Mr. Bloomberg and Mr. Lauer here?

Camelot Theatrical Special Effects at Blogged